Her Song of Restitution

Because I know that I am not yet

all that I was born to be,

I have made a choice

to walk myself back into my own shadow.

By it’s very nature, being a shadow,

it is a place where I am blind.

It is dark and dense and deeply veiled.

I feel the world slipping away

as my footsteps take me deeper in.

The lights and the music, the laughter and the touch,

the friends and companions have all fallen away

and I am now alone in the shadow with myself.

It is quiet here and I am afraid.

The shadow is full of energies that move me

in ways I have known all my days,

only masked by my longing for the light.

And in this place it sometimes feels

that every cell of my being is resonating

to the story that I am weak and wrong

and unworthy and small.

It itches and aches and smarts and revolts.

It heaves in me like great wild oceans of pain.

I am lost at sea.

But in this place I am relentlessly searching

for that one who knows I am in the shadows.

Whose great arms are big enough to reach around

amidst the pummeling waves,

with her night-vision and her instinct for love

and with those great arms, she scoops me up,

so small and afraid, my little one, alone.

And in the darkness,

she wraps me up in her bountiful breast,

and she softly keens to me,

her song of restitution.

and our tears become a cleansing river

to guide me home.

Lucy Pierce © 2013